TOURIST MARKET
Yuh got a small piece fuh me Mistress? Me nah eat since las Sunday Me pickney him a starve See he belly swell out he navel so Me milk dry up long time… Ova here! Down here! Yes that’s me Sis Me cyant stand up fuh long see. Yuh wan pieca pine? Guinep? Sweet mango? Ow bout a pieca sugarcane? Yuh cyant get that in Hingland rite?! English! Hey English! I got a nice gold ring heh Pure Columbian that’s right, bargain jes five EC dollahs What about some aloe then? Pick fresh dis mawning Lord! Look how your lady shoulder bunnup! Wait, Hold on! You walking away from me? You tunning you back pon me?! Is that the manners y’all learn in the US? You prefer spend you money in the Govament shop? Cheups Man y’all haul yuh rass. Dear Sir, please to tek this conch here from me You will pay twice de price on board No Sir it is not a protected species Is Lambie we eat Sir. Madam, this will look nice on your mantlepiece eh? Come on Sir, I too old to fish now you see Just $8 Sir. No? 6 then, just $6 it will fit nice In your suitcase, wrap it in your towel Sir. The Lord be praised. Bless you Sir, Bless you. Sir, can I interest you in this nice shell necklace …? Road is not beach. Bikini belang on beach. Road is not deck on board. Bikini belong on deck, not road. You walking round my island lika dat? You would like me to do dat? You would like me to wear bikini in Tescos And feel up your plantain like dat? Have a nice day Madam. Go lang you way. Y’all having a nice time? Havana is a beautiful city, you enjoying her? You staying long? I could show you round There is a lot of people like to take advantage. But I have specialist knowledge, I’m a university professor you know And times are extremely hard Please don’t walk away from me Sir Please don’t walk away from me Please don’t walk away Don’t walk away
Maggie Harris from After a Visit to a Botanical Garden